We'd rather have faithful Jews, Baptists or Buddhists than some of the Catholics who nearly run you over … - George Patterson

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Getting older is tough. I remember the last time I felt an erection. It was at the movies. The only trouble is, it belonged to the guy sitting next to me.

George Patterson

We'd rather have faithful Jews, Baptists or Buddhists than some of the Catholics who nearly run you over in the parking lot after Mass.

Buddhist, Catholic, Catholics, Jews, Parking, Running

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You can't find the answers on the bottom of a whiskey glass, but if you look hard enough you'll forget the questions.

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Don't aim to plant churches. Aim to plant a church that will plant many other churches.

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W. Somerset Maugham

It is not true that suffering ennobles the character; happiness does that sometimes, but suffering for the most part, makes men petty and vindictive.

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Rodney Dangerfield

Getting older is tough. I remember the last time I felt an erection. It was at the movies. The only trouble is, it belonged to the guy sitting next to me.

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Murray Walker

[Andrea De Cesaris is] the man who has won more Grands Prix than anybody else in the history of Grand Prix racing without actually winning one of them.

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Diablo Cody

I had gone to the bookstore, and while I hadn't bought any books on how to write a screenplay, I'd bought a couple of scripts so I could see how the formatting works. I just needed to know how a Hollywood screenplay looked on the page, which was something I was totally unfamiliar with.

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John Donne

God made sun and moon to distinguish the seasons, and day and night; and we cannot have the fruits of the earth but in their seasons. But God hath made no decrees to distinguish the seasons of His mercies. In Paradise the fruits were ripe the first minute, and in heaven it is always autumn. His mercies are ever in their maturity.

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