The Department of Homeland Security recommends a three-day supply of water consisting of one bottle per day for … - Jon Stewart

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Quote of the day

We’re all misfits herefrom our weirdnesses and our differences, from our manic fixations, our obsessions, our passions. From all those wild and wacky things that make each of us unique.

Jon Stewart

The Department of Homeland Security recommends a three-day supply of water consisting of one bottle per day for each person in your home. Plus one extra bottle to give you all something to kill each other over on day four.

Give, Giving, Home, Homeland, Security, Water

Same Author Quotes

If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.

America, Barack, Funny, Make, Maybe, Usa

The wisdom of the masses is not always wise. You could put a lot of things to a vote-you could have put anti-miscegenation laws to a vote, and that would have passed pretty handily. Either all people are created equal-or they're not. You're either buying into the original premise of America-or you're not.

America, Law, Passed, Vote, Wisdom, Wise

So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.

America, News, Smirnoff, Stalin, Voice

That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.

1973, Committee, Ethics, Oxymoron, Rolex

Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn't work.

Broke, Complaining, Fun, Joy, Nice, Work