'Come back here, I'm a police officer!' and I shouted back 'No you're not! You're a monster!' - Russell Howard - Quotesmemo.com

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Love and toothache have many cures, but none infallible, except possession and dispossession.

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Russell Howard

'Come back here, I'm a police officer!' and I shouted back 'No you're not! You're a monster!'

Back, Funny, Humor, Monster, Police

Same Author Quotes

Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!'

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Music's the best thing we do as humans, isn't it? Music, I mean you flail your limbs, make you move in a way you don't understand. Or it can make you weep like a sailor's wife staring at a storm.

Limbs, Mean, Move, Moving, Staring, Wife

The Bible says gays arent natural. What, and a talking snake is?!

Bible, Gay, Says, Snake, Snakes, Talking

I lived with a guy who had OCD and I used to put Rice Krispies in his slippers before I went out. He went mental, but not before he counted them all.

Counted, Funny, Guy, Humor, Ocd, Slippers

So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided it would be the ideal moment to say - 'Guess what everyone in this jacuzzi has in common? You've all sucked on my tits. '

Decided, Everyone, Father, Funny, Ideal, Mother

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Among artists without talent Marxism will always be popular, since it enables them to blame society for the fact that nobody wants to hear what they have to say.

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Adi Shankara

Adi Shankara

Give up identification with this mass of flesh as well as with what thinks it a mass. Both are intellectual imaginations. Recognise your true self as undifferentiated awareness, unaffected by time, past, present or future, and enter Peace.

Giving Up, Thinking, Past, Enter, Thinks, True

Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin

Love and toothache have many cures, but none infallible, except possession and dispossession.

Cures, Dispossession, Except, Love, Possession

Ann Brashares

Lena knew she had spent too much of her life in a state of passive dread, just waiting for something bad to happen. In a life like that, relief was as close as you got to happiness.

Waiting, Relief, Too Much, Like, Dread

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Having previously graduated from a 2-year commercial arts class, I thought that commercial illustration was the best way to make a living doing art. But the more tattoos that I did, the more I realized what artistic career potential tattooing had and I enjoyed it.

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