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I've got the greatest job in the world. There's no other job in government where cause and effect is so tightly coupled where you can make a difference every day in so many different ways and in so many different people's lives. It's a great challenge.

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Flip Wilson

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

Fun, Get Well Soon, Half, Humorous, Sick
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You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

Hit, Jackpot, Motivational, Nickels, Positivity, Success

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

Cost, Cost Of Living, Down, Funny, Life, Living

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

Comedian, Con, Fool, Humor, Make, Men

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

Ignorant, Tool, Tools, Violence

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.

Birthday, Childhood, Interest, Memories, Teacher, Took
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