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My first wedding was 15 people at our condo. The second was maybe about a hundred people at this fabulous casino. And you know what? I have almost no pictures of the second one, because I put disposable cameras on the tables, because everyone said, "The best pictures are the most candid! The best pictures are the ones people just take!" So, I put disposable cameras on the tables, and guess what? There were so many kids there that those cameras were stomped on. I had so many pictures of the floor, of people's eyes, of someone's finger.

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George Carlin

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Funny, Happens, Humor, Penny, Thoughts, Two
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Life is sacred? Who said so, God? Hey, if you read history you'll realize that God is one of the leading causes of death. . . has been for thousands of years. Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Jews, all taking turns killing each other because God told them it was a good idea.

Christian, Christians, Ideas, Muslims, Thousands, Years

To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesn't need guidance from.

Independent, Mind, Needs, Spirit, World

Obviously, there are people who constrict themselves and build walls around themselves, whether it's from a moral standpoint or a patriotic standpoint, or just plain old conformity, and who therefore live in those little prisons, and when things breach those walls, it's shocking for them.

Obviously, Old, Patriotic, People, Prisons, Wall

People think life is real complicated. Actually, there's nothing to it. Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.

Complicated, Gets, Real, School, Simple, Teach

What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.

Air, Exactly Is, Shows, Television, Viewers
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