Thomas Charles Louis "Tom" Holt (born 13 September 1961) is a British novelist. In addition to fiction published under his own name, he writes fantasy under the pseudonym K. J. Parker.
Poetry is one of the few nasty childhood habits I've managed to grow out of
Love is an optical illusion that makes you believe the object of your affection is the most beautiful person in the world.
Genies rarely have nightmares, for the same reason that elephants don't usually worry about being trampled underfoot. With the possible exception of bottles, there's nothing in the cosmos large enough or malicious enough to frighten them, or stupid enough to try.
Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.
Everything is out there if you know how to find it, and have the patience. I don't and haven't, but that's my problem
At any given time, ninety-nine-point-nine-five per cent of the human race are a confounded nuisance
I don't read the Sunday papers; or the dailies, either
New technology is useful, but it's inefficient and ugly; it knows it'll be obsolete by lunchtime tomorrow, so it has no incentive to be anything else
Lawyers are predators in grey worsted
Human beings can get used to virtually anything, given plenty of time and no choice in the matter whatsoever.
In spite of really intense competition for the job, I'm still my own worst enemy.
I try and do 2,500 words a day, every day of the year
It was irritating to have one's physical shortcomings pointed out quite so plainly twice in one evening, once by a beautiful girl and once by a dying badger.
Luck, like a Russian car, generally only works if you push it.
American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot, sunny day. It's never really caught on in the UK, probably because the last time we had a hot, sunny day was back in 1957.
Among the gods, there is a dispute as to which one of them originally thought of Christianity; or, as they call it, the Great Leg Pull. Apollo has the best claim, but a sizeable minority support Pluto, ex-God of the Dead, on the grounds that he has a really sick sense of humour. How would it be, suggested the unidentified god, if first we tell them all to love their neighbour, pack in the killing and thieving, and be nice to each other. Then we let them start burning heretics.
The best definition of an immortal is someone who hasn't died yet.