Top Red Skelton Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Red Skelton Biography

Richard "Red" Skelton (July 18, 1913 – September 17, 1997) was an American comedy entertainer. He was best known for his national radio and television acts between 1937 and 1971, and as host of the television program The Red Skelton Show. He has stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for his work in radio and television, and also appeared in burlesque, vaudeville, films, nightclubs, and casinos, all while he pursued an entirely separate career as an artist.

Read about Red Skelton in Wikipedia

Random Authors

Red Skelton Quotes

Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.

Brings, Character, Characters, Rooms, Television

I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.

Coffins, Exercise, Friends, Friendship, Plenty

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

Happiness, Laughter, Look, Sadness, Situations

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Collapse, Course, Exercise, Golf, Running, See

God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being.

Children, Happiness, Reason, Reasons

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.

Doctors, Dollars, Looks, Said, Wrinkled

I left home because I was hungry.

Home, Hungry, Left

Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.

Age, Destiny, Home, Mom, Run, Running

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap

Deaf, Dirty, Inspiration, Mother, Soap, Young

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

Blender, Bought, Funny, Humor, Toaster, Toasters

I don't hate my enemies. After all, I made 'em.

Ems, Enemies, Enemy, Hate

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.

Family, Fireplace, Fireplaces, Set, Television, Whole Family

A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '

Fellow, School, Successful, Three, Told

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Ask, Bedtime, Errand, Funny, Laughter, Running

Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer and that would be eliminated from schools, too?

Eliminated, Prayer, Said, School, Schools, Would Be

I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.

Know, Laugh, Laughing, Long, Make, Nuts

People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.

Candles, Flower, Morning, Seen, Things, Thinking

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas

Inspiration, Separate, Sleep, Texas

I only come to life when there are people watching.

Come, Life, People, Watching

You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.

Blankets, Cold, Firsts, Lasts, Night

1