I do think homophobia in the '80s was more rampant and socially acceptable.
You train your man to do nothing.
There are no regrets in life, just lessons.
I remember being seven and asking my mom if I was as pretty as Monique [my best friend in grade school]. And with all the love in the world, my mom looked at me and said, 'Oh, honey, you're so funny. ' So, she doesn't lie to me. . . she answers the question by not answering and instead tells me what she thinks is my greatest strength.
I always say don't make plans, make options.
I am a creature of habit.
I'm really happy. Really! I think people honestly just want to see me as a mum and married and barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. And I just want to say, 'Everybody, relax! It's going to happen. '
We twain have met like the ships upon the sea, Who behold an hour's converse, so short, so sweet: One little hour! and then, away they speed On lonely paths, through mist, and cloud, and foam, To meet no more.
I really don't work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It's really made the touring a lot less grueling. A lot of people get to this level and they're like, Now I do four cities in one week and they tour nonstop. I'm like, No, that sounds miserable. I'll just do two weekends a month. But whenever I'm in some awful place geographically, it's no longer that awful, because you've got the Internet and television.
I think, in fact, I think President [Barack] Obama could step up.
Good thing I'm aging, otherwise I'd be dead.