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I think I'm a sober person. I think the press tries to make you into something a little bit different. In my case, a little bit of a wild man. I'm not. I'm actually not. I'm a very sober person.

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Jackie Mason

The New York Times does an unbelievable amount of damage because every day television and radio stations along with the rest of media take their lead on the way the news should be presented along with what actually is the news.

Doe, Media, New York, News, Rest, Take
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You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man?. . . Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.

Guy, Man, Men, Shapes, Stand, Women

A schmuck is a general term of disrespect. It's a term of contempt and derision. It applies to a lot of people.

Applies, Contempt, Disrespect, People, Schmuck, Schmucks

Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!

Accountants, Accounts, Away, Payable, Ran

The main problem with the Democrats is their utter negativity. They're made up of schumucks and hypocrites. They also have higher levels of immorality.

Higher, Hypocrite, Immorality, Levels, Negativity, Problem

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

Accountant, Accountants, Hear, Kid, Kids, Wanted
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