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The surviving intelligent life form on Earth is not going to be carbon-based; it's going to be silicon-based.

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Jackie Mason

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

Accountant, Accountants, Hear, Kid, Kids, Wanted
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You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man?. . . Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.

Guy, Man, Men, Shapes, Stand, Women

A schmuck is a general term of disrespect. It's a term of contempt and derision. It applies to a lot of people.

Applies, Contempt, Disrespect, People, Schmuck, Schmucks

Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!

Accountants, Accounts, Away, Payable, Ran

The main problem with the Democrats is their utter negativity. They're made up of schumucks and hypocrites. They also have higher levels of immorality.

Higher, Hypocrite, Immorality, Levels, Negativity, Problem

Why is it that they have Bibles in every motel room? Why should a man want to read the Bible when he's with a woman alone in a motel room? Why would he be interested? Whatever he's praying for, he's already got!

Already, Men, Motel, Room, Rooms, Want
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