Never approach a friend's wife or girlfriend with mischief as your goal. . . unless she's really attractive.
How many whales do we really need? I figure five. One for each ocean.
I think it's a shame when you come across young actors and musicians who haven't had the time to learn their craft. It doesn't matter if it's acting or music; you really have to learn how to do it from the bottom up because unless you have a great work ethic. . . fame is a terrible thing to have.
You try to - you want to fly on both sides of the political fence because that's where the - where the comedy is.
Having dealt with a lot of real firefighters, I know there are a lot of guys who, for lack of a better term, become addicted to the grief because it has kept them connected to these guys that they felt responsible for having lost.
I guess you get pigeon-holed in Hollywood, but I'm ok with that because I've been able to do a lot. I started in the theater, then I went to stand-up comedy, and then when I went into the movies to do comedy and drama and big movies and small movies.
Here's the problem with Easter. The Catholic Church needs to pick a date because it keeps moving. And I think the reason they always have Easter moving to different dates is to catch us.
All I need in a relationship is somebody to watch TV with me.
Prejudice: Sometimes it's like a hair across your cheek. You can't see it, you can't find it with your fingers, but you keep brushing at it because the feel of it is irritating.
ADVERSITY CAN HARDEN YOU. OR IT CAN LOOSEN YOU UP AND MAKE YOU BETTER —IF YOU LET IT.
But I think that parents who criticise their children too much are in fact better than parents who praise their children too much.