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I wrote my first book when I was 22 years old. I have a way with words and I love to write. I can write without getting writers block so I knew, it was a gift.

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Bobcat Goldthwait

Well, I'm an uncle now. . . don't know if I'm a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought there was more dark meat on a gerbil.

Dark, Differences, Hamster, Told, Uncle, Uncles
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I lost my job, well I didn't lose it, I know where it is, there's just some other guy doing it now.

Guy, Job, Jobs, Know, Lose, Lost

Animals may be our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.

Airport, Airports, Animal, Friends, May, Pick

Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn chicken?

Animal, Chicken, Funny, Gimme, Squirrels, Weasel

Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.

Everything, Quit, Quitting

America’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.

Americas, Countries, Country, Funny, Humor, Stole
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