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Bobcat Goldthwait Biography

Bobcat Goldthwait

Robert Francis "Bobcat" Goldthwait (born May 26, 1962) is an American comedian, filmmaker, actor and voice artist, known for his acerbic black comedy, delivered through an energetic stage persona with an unusual gruff and high-pitched voice. He came to prominence with his stand-up specials An Evening with Bobcat Goldthwait – Share the Warmth and Bob Goldthwait – Is He Like That All the Time? and his acting roles, including Zed in the Police Academy franchise.

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Bobcat Goldthwait Quotes

How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that's who I am.

Atheist, Gun, Vegetarian, Who I Am

Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn chicken?

Animal, Chicken, Funny, Gimme, Squirrels, Weasel

In fact, with Michael Jackson, I think those mourning people. . . They aren't even waking Michael, they're waking the Michael Jackson of '84. They never were given a chance to give their respects to the death of the guy they loved back in '84.

Back, Give, Giving, People, Think, Thinking

I lost my job, well I didn't lose it, I know where it is, there's just some other guy doing it now.

Guy, Job, Jobs, Know, Lose, Lost

I'm against gun control. It's not that I like guns, it's just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other's heads off.

Allowing, Americans, Blow, Control, Gun, Redneck

America’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.

Americas, Countries, Country, Funny, Humor, Stole

I can't feel my face. I mean I can touch it. But I can't feel it inside.

Blow, Face, Faces, Mean, Touch

That's human nature - we want to completely rewrite history so it can be comfortable. Without getting too profound, I'm pretty sure that's where the invention of the afterlife comes from. "We don't really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows. "

Afterlife, Magical, Pretty, Profound, Rainbow

Well, I'm an uncle now. . . don't know if I'm a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought there was more dark meat on a gerbil.

Dark, Differences, Hamster, Told, Uncle, Uncles

The bar for being shocking doesn't even exist anymore. What am I going to do to shock people? Seriously, try to get The Fisting Musical off the ground? Its really at this point, there is no bar.

Bar, Musical, People, Shock, Trying

What's the difference between a Dice Clay concert and a Klan rally? Nothing. Trick question.

Clay, Dice, Differences, Nothing, Question

In my first stand-up acts there wasn't material even. You know, I'd go on stage and cry and read a Dear John letter or gut fish on stage. I could be odd - and it's what interested me as a comedian.

Comedian, Dear, Goes On, Interested, Letters

It's that weird need to make tragedy about us. When you look at 9
11, there's people who really died and family members who really suffered. And then I would be in Montana, and a guy would go, "You know, I was close to Ground Zero. " And it's like, "What are you talking about? You're in Montana. " Everybody had to make it about them.

Ground, Guy, Make, People, Tragedy

Kurt (Cobain) was a fan of my standup, which was pretty weird. I know when people hear that, it's kind of like finding out that Jimi Hendrix really liked Buddy Hackett, but he interviewed me at a college radio station before they broke and did Bleach. And then, like, about two years later, I was opening for Nirvana at these huge sports arenas.

College, Finding, Radio, Sports, Years

Don't hoo, hoo, hoo me. There's a fine line between hoo, hoo, hoo and hiel, hiel, hiel.

Fine, Fine Lines, Hiel, Hoo, Line, Lines

Animals may be our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.

Airport, Airports, Animal, Friends, May, Pick