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There are few things more powerful than the faithful prayers of a righteous mother.

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S. J. Perelman

I have no truck with lettuce, cabbage, and similar chlorophyll. Any dietitian will tell you that a running foot of apple strudel contains four times the vitamins of a bushel of beans.

Apples, Bushel, Chlorophyll, Food, Running, Times
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Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.

Anniversary, Bedspring, Dying, Love, Twang, Valentines Day

The dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he’s given the freedom to starve anywhere.

Anywhere, Editing, Editors, Privilege, Starve, Writing

I tried to resist his overtures, but he plied me with symphonies, quartets, chamber music, and cantatas.

Cantatas, Music, Plied, Quartets, Symphony

The main obligation is to amuse yourself.

Obligation, Amuse

I guess I'm just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atom-smashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation's laws.

Funny, Beautiful, Girl, Guess, Old, Mad
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