In life, as on the stage, it's not who I am but what I do that's the measure of my worth and the secret of my success. All the rest is showiness, arrogance and conceit.
[On being told their loquacious, domineering host was 'outspoken':] By whom?
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.
There does seem to be some evidence that as people get older, they procrastinate less, perhaps because they feel the pressure of time more.
I will reign over a new world!
Champagne is the only wine that enhances a woman's beauty.
A computer does not smell. . . if a book is new, it smells great. If a book is old, it smells even better… And it stays with you forever. But the computer doesn’t do that for you. I’m sorry.