[On being told their loquacious, domineering host was 'outspoken':] By whom? - Dorothy Parker

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In life, as on the stage, it's not who I am but what I do that's the measure of my worth and the secret of my success. All the rest is showiness, arrogance and conceit.

Dorothy Parker

[On being told their loquacious, domineering host was 'outspoken':] By whom?

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That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.

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The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.

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If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

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I will reign over a new world!

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A computer does not smell. . . if a book is new, it smells great. If a book is old, it smells even better… And it stays with you forever. But the computer doesn’t do that for you. I’m sorry.

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