I just had a son and had to take him to the paediatrician and he measured his head and apparently he's in a group in which only 14 per cent of the population have a bigger head than him. Then she said: "Do you mind if I measure your head?" I said: "Go ahead. " And she was shocked, because less than one per cent of the world's population has a bigger head than mine. So I guess that means I'm pretty full of myself. Or that I have a huge brain.
Want a sugar cube? [. . . ] They're supposed to be for the horses, but who cares? They've got years to eat sugar, whereas you and I. . . well, if we see something sweet we better grab it quick. [. . . ] You're absolutely terrifying me in that get-up. What happened to the pretty little-girl dresses?