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Often-times the most difficult competition comes, not from the strong, the intelligent, the conservative competitor, but from the man who is holding on by the eyelids and is ignorant of his costs, and anyway he's got to keep running or bust!

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Tracy Morgan

I can make people laugh at the drop of a dime. God's given me that ability.

Ability, Dime, Dimes, Given, Laughing, People
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My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

Baste, Pull, Reality, Sense Of Humor, Turkey, Turkeys

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

Beautiful, Black, Butterfly, Cocoon

They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F*** that -- when opportunity knocks, you should take it captive. Beat that s*** down. I've got opportunity tied to a chair in my basement with a ball gag in its mouth. Opportunity ain't even thinking about leaving my house. If you keep quiet for a second, you'll hear it whining.

Chair, House, Invite, Mouth, Opportunity, Thinking

Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life.

Follow, Joy, Path, Trailblazers

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

Light, News, Speed, Travels
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