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I may not be the best dad but I taught my son how to get free samples at the mall.

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Sarah Silverman

I first did stand-up when I was 17, and then I passed out fliers for a comedy club (in New York City) and I got onstage whenever I could. And musical theater went out the window as soon as I started doing stand-up.

New York, Cities, Musical, Passed, Club
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Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

Alive, Inability, Keeping, See

Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying, 'Hey, when you get in the shower, I'm not gonna read your diary. ' 'Wait--are you gonna read my diary?' 'No! I said I'm not gonna read your diary. Go take a shower!'

Girl, Grow, Growing Up, Read, Said, Waiting

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

Girl, Girls, Grow, Growing Up, Powerful, Telling

I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it's a form of self-torture.

Defining, Difference, Differences, Perspective, Self, Thinking

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

Black, Hated, People, Skill, Skills
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