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It is only requisite for me to add that the doctrines which I commenced to preach some seven years since are as firmly believed by me as ever; and through persecutions have attended, and the rage and malice of men been heaped upon me, I feel equally as firm in the great and glorious cause as when first I received my mission from the holy messenger.

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Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

Anthem, Might, Mind, National, Redneck
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

Baby, Cleaners, Funny, Humor, Living, Smell

A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon. '

Thinking, Told, Ufo, Up North, Weather

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

Baby, Bernard, Cat, Coming, Dog, Funny

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty. '

Dang, Family, Feelings, Funny, Know, Minutes
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