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Spiritual sloth, or acedia, was known as The Sin of the Middle Ages. It's the sin of my middle age, too.

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Nicole Krauss

The moment had passed, the door between the lives we could have led and the lives we led had shut in our faces.

Doors, Faces, Lives, Moment, Moments, Shut
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I read differently now, more painstakingly, knowing I am probably revisiting the books I love for the last time. (245)

Book, Knowing, Lasts, Painstakingly, Differently

Alone in my room, wrapped in a blanket, I whimpered and talked aloud to myself, recalling the lost glory of my youth when I considered myself, and was considered by others, a bright and capable person. It seemed that was all gone now.

Bright, Gone, Recalling, Rooms, Youth

There was no one to call me to bed, no one to demand that the rhythms of my life operate in a duet.

Bed, Call, Demand, Duets, Operate

I wished to punish her for her intolerable stoicism, which made it impossible for me to ever be truly needed by her in the most profound ways a person can need another, a need that often goes by the name of love.

Names, Needs, Person, Profound, Ways, Wished

The fact that you got a little happier today doesn't change the fact that you also became a little sadder. Every day you become a little more of both, which means that right now, at this exact moment, you're the happiest and saddest you've ever been in your whole life.

Become, Happiest, Littles, Mean, Today
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