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Having been issued the false prospectus of happiness through unlimited sex, modern man concludes, when he is not happy with his life, that his sex has not been unlimited enough. If welfare does not eliminate squalor, we need more welfare; if sex does not bring happiness, we need more sex.

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Red Skelton

No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.

Forget, Happiness, Heartache, Laughter, Matter
Same Author Quotes

I don't hate my enemies. After all, I made 'em.

Ems, Enemies, Enemy, Hate

I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.

Know, Laugh, Laughing, Long, Make, Nuts

A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '

Fellow, School, Successful, Three, Told

I just want to be known as a clown, because to me that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything—sing, dance and above all, make people laugh.

Clown, Dance, Laugh, Laughing, Mean, People

You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.

Blankets, Cold, Firsts, Lasts, Night
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