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I don't believe in Elvis I don't believe in Zimmerman I don't believe in Beatles I just believe in me.

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Maria Bamford

I'm not looking for much, I just want, like, a really nice guy who has, you know, like a job. . . and the missing half of this golden amulet.

Golden, Guy, Jobs, Looking, Missing, Nice
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If you're ever if you're ever thinking, “Oh, but I'm a waste of space and I'm a burden,” remember: that also describes the Grand Canyon. Why don't you have friends and family take pictures of you from a safe distance? Revel in your majestic profile?

Distance, Family, Friends, Inspirational, Pictures, Thinking

My therapist says I'm afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would REALLY cut into my sitting-around time

Cut, Cutting, Potential, Says, Sitting, Therapists

Get out of your house and go see some live performance, for God's sake. There are people creating things just outside your window.

Creating Things, Fun, People, Sake, See, Things

I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal pay for equal work. How about an eye shadow that makes me stop thinking I'm too fat?

Eye, Gets, Makeup, Shadow, Stop, Thinking

If you stay alive for no other reason do it for spite

Alive, Reason, Spite, Stay
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