Top Maria Bamford Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Maria Bamford Biography

Maria Elizabeth Sheldon Bamford (born September 3, 1970) is an American stand-up comedian, actress, and voice actress. She is best known for her portrayal of her dysfunctional family and self-deprecating comedy involving jokes about depression and anxiety.

Read about Maria Bamford in Wikipedia

Random Authors

Maria Bamford Quotes

I have received more fulfillment and adulation than I would ever know what to do with in terms of show business.

Adulation, Fulfillment, Know, Show, Term

I get sort of short with people and start grumbling and clearing my throat - in honor of my father - when I'm impatient. It's very charming.

Father, People, Honor, Start, Grumbling

I would've been able to write anything about mental-health crises had I not felt good.

Crises, Crisis, Felt, Good, Write, Writing

Sometimes I worry I don't want to get married as much as I'd like to be dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough.

Worry, Rising, Want, Warm, Vat

I love support groups, people talking about their feelings.

Feelings, Groups, People, Support, Talking

I just love that part of comedy, where you see somebody's jokes develop. They try something new to see what works, and I just love that part.

Trying, Comedy, Something New, Jokes, Works, Part

I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of s**t that I don't need, that I refuse to share with others.

Needs, Refuse, Rich, Share, Technically

Even if you're disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you're gross, you know, keep doing what you love!

Doing What You Love, Gross, Keep, Know, Thinking, Thinks

In L. A. , a lot of comics live here, but we don't get to spend that much time together because we've got to drive 45 minutes home, or do another set. So in San Francisco we can hang out, go for dinner - the community aspect of it is really lovely, as well as seeing people's shows that you don't normally get to see a longer version of.

Home, Normally, People, San Francisco, See

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.

Children, Half, Cups, Empty, Younger

I express things through characters because I have a fear that my own voice is irritating because thats been said to me.

Character, Characters, Express, Irritating, Said, Voice

If you stay alive for no other reason do it for spite

Alive, Reason, Spite, Stay

I do some compassionate mindfulness every day. It's like a Buddhist thing. I tell myself that I'm doing a good job, that kind of thing. It makes me feel better.

Buddhist, Jobs, Feel Better, Job, Compassionate, Day

I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal pay for equal work. How about an eye shadow that makes me stop thinking I'm too fat?

Eye, Gets, Makeup, Shadow, Stop, Thinking

If you're ever if you're ever thinking, “Oh, but I'm a waste of space and I'm a burden,” remember: that also describes the Grand Canyon. Why don't you have friends and family take pictures of you from a safe distance? Revel in your majestic profile?

Distance, Family, Friends, Inspirational, Pictures, Thinking

We’re all doing the best we can and sometimes it is not that good.

Sometimes, Good

I have trouble watching singers because they are so sincere.

Sincere, Singers, Trouble, Watching

When you're a comedian, you're just by yourself.

Comedian

Time flies when you are anxious!

Anxious, Flies, Time, Time Flies

I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too.

Kissing, Married, Mmmm, Relationship, Shopping, Sounds

1