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The dream is over. I gotta get down to reality. The good old days is garbage.

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Gilbert Gottfried

The 'Phoenix Sun' did a list of the unsexiest men in the world, and I made it to number one. I beat out Bin Laden. He's a terrorist, hasn't bathed in months. I beat him out. To me it was a great honor.

Men, Phoenix, Numbers, Laden, List
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I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.

Offensive, Osama Bin Laden, Sexy, Top, Understand

I think of Alan Thicke as Perry Como without the excitement.

Alan, Como, Excitement, Perry, Thicke, Thinking

I'd like to have a kid, but I'd probably get a Frank Sinatra Jr. instead of a Gilbert Gottfried Jr. I'd totally screw up like that.

Frank, Instead, Kids, Like, Screw Ups, Sinatra

Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them.

Advanced, Beach, Japan

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

Act, Onstage, People, Sometimes, Years
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