Top Gilbert Gottfried Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Gilbert Gottfried Biography

Gilbert Gottfried

Gilbert Gottfried (born February 28, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian, actor and voice actor. Gottfried's persona as a comedian features an exaggerated shrill voice and emphasis on crude humor. His numerous roles in film and television include voicing the parrot Iago in Disney's Aladdin, Digit in the children's cartoon/educational math-based show Cyberchase, and Kraang Subprime in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Gottfried was also the voice of the Aflac Duck until 2011.

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Gilbert Gottfried Quotes

One pleasant surprise was when I interviewed Butch Patrick. I was expecting this bitter old drunk, and instead he had a total sense of humor about his career and his drinking and drug problem.

Careers, Drinking, Drug, Drunk, Problem, Sense

Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them.

Advanced, Beach, Japan

Off-camera, I sound like Perry Como.

Cameras, Como, Like, Perry, Sound

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

Dating, Naked, Platonic, Relationship, Want

With Katrina, it's almost like the sequel that doesn't live up to the original. It's certainly a shocking event and a tragedy, but somehow as a big event it doesn't seem to carry as much weight with the public as 9
11 did.

Carry, Event, Events, Sequel, Tragedy, Weight

If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.

House, Michael, Pick Me Up, Police, Told

The 'Phoenix Sun' did a list of the unsexiest men in the world, and I made it to number one. I beat out Bin Laden. He's a terrorist, hasn't bathed in months. I beat him out. To me it was a great honor.

Men, Phoenix, Numbers, Laden, List

At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those were the people going, You know, the air conditioning hits me right on the back on the neck.

Air, Originally, People, Supper, Thinking

I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.

Daryl, Eventually, Gonna, Hannah, Parts, Take

I guess if they ever do a remake of 'Sophie's Choice,' I could play the Meryl Streep part. I've got to work on my Polish accent. Maybe I'll be the definitive King Lear one day. You know, if they ever feel that King Lear should be more Jewy.

Accent, Choices, Guess, Kings, Meryl, Play

I would show up at a party for Al Qaeda if you said there's going to be a dinner.

Als, Dinner, Party, Qaeda, Said

When you watch Robin Williams, you can see a lot of Jonathan Winters. Robin is the first one to admit that; he worshiped Jonathan Winters.

Robin, Robins, See, Watch, Watches, Winter

I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching.

Hitting, People, Remote, Remote Control, Show

I'm known for my slightly inappropriate remarks.

Inappropriate, Known, Remarks, Slightly

I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life.

Avoid, Life, Trying

You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.

Accept, Accepting, Hell, Theory

I used to go to the Improvisation Comedy Club every night in Times Square. How I didn't get killed in that area either means that 1) God is watching over me or 2) I am so insignificant to God that he didn't bother having me killed.

Club, Having, Mean, Night, Squares, Used

What do Japanese Jews love to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami.

Eat, Hebrew, Japanese, Jew, National, Racism

If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible. '

Lunch, Peace, Terrible, War, World

If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny, dont laugh. Or you could possibly go as far as groaning or rolling your eyes. Then you wait for his next joke; if thats funny, then you laugh. If its not, you dont laugh - or at very worst, you can leave quietly.

Eye, Laughing, Leave, Possibly, Rolling, Waiting

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