Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of … - Jeff Foxworthy

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There's a hysterical, tired sense of humor that comes after working 14 hours a day, six days a week. I like those things because they take the pressure off the constant stress

Jeff Foxworthy

Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean. " That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.

England, Funny, Honey, Humor, Ocean, Ship

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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon. '

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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty. '

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