I spent the next fifteen minutes convincing a crying werewolf that I wasn’t going to hurt her. My life was getting too strange, even for me.
I feel kind of like the black sheep in Congress, but here I am.
We must get rid of the IRS. It's a bureaucracy fraught with totalitarianism.
People have said to me, You can't write songs. You can't play an instrument. But I've got 10 gold records.
Put your ego aside and play as a team.
Don't cling to fame. You're just borrowing it. It's like money. You're going to die, and somebody else is going to get it.
Almost no one sings like Elvis Presley any more.
There is no lapse in His character or inconsistency in His nature. Our God is everything he says He is… for now and all eternity.
There's a lot of bullshit in Peter Fonda's autobiography. A great deal of it is complete fabrication.
The Daily Show writers are incredibly smart and very well plugged-in but occasionally they would need me for certain specific things, and I'd be like, 'Yeah, I completely know how to do that; I can solve that problem,and then I'd be like, 'Mom?
The nuclear bomb is the most useless weapon ever invented. It can be employed to no rational purpose. It is not even an effective defense against itself.