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The world has shown that if you provide capital and expertise to an area that is starved for capital and expertise, really good things will happen.

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Johnny Carson

May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!

Democracy, Income, Life, Republican, Sex
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My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Business, Congratulations, Hand, Hands, Success, Working

I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, "I guess you're so big we bore you now. "

Attitude, Bore, Bores You, Boys, Seeing, Towns

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.

Birthday, Christmas, Keep, People, World

According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.

Lightning, Relatives, Side, Statistics, Winning

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead. And, unlike communism, democracy does not mean having just one ineffective political party; it means having two ineffective political parties.

Afford, Mean, Parties, Party, Political, Two
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