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Everyday should be a good day to die

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Artie Lange

I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.

Apologizing, Ifs, Joke, Jokes
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

Life, Part, Whiskey

A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don't realize this, he's a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the playoffs a couple of years ago, A-Rod went to the hospital and promised a dying kid he'd ground out to second for him.

Baseball, Couple, Like, Ruth, Sports, Years

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

Gps, Mike, Tyson, Use, Voice

Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.

Cool, Drug, Drugs, Ems, Hate

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

Drink, Drinking, Point, Sometimes
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