The elevator to success is broken, take the stairs.
Hope: A pathological belief in the occurrence of the impossible.
On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.
The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.
People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?
Polished brass will pass upon more people than rough gold.
If I could be any animal I would be a pony because then I could have sex with ponies. Pony, what a funny word. Say it, pony. PO-KNEE. Now ah've made myself giddy with delight. Towards the ponies *laughs*
I have so much that I want to do. I hate wasting time.
Legends are not born - they are created.