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Good Lord's been kind to me, that's all I can say. I wake up in the morning with music in my head a lot of times. I won't say every morning, but I wake up in the morning sometimes with eight bars in my head and I just go to the piano.

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Jimmy Fallon

Honestly, I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with.

Awake, Bed, Giving, Keep, People
Same Author Quotes

. . . Being a father is the most exciting, amazing thing that ever happened to me.

Amazing, Dad, Exciting, Father, Happened

Success is just happiness. When you are happy, that is success.

Happiness, Happy, Success

I didn't think it was going to be this fun. But everything just gets heightened when you have a baby. The volume gets turned up on life. I never knew I could be this happy, and that's the truth.

Baby, Dad, Fun, Happy, Think

Thank you hard taco shells for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you.

Journey, Long, Shells, Surviving, Taco

According to a new report, since he's been governor, Chris Christie has spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Now, I know it seems like the perfect story for a Chris Christie joke but I'm actually on a Chris Christie joke diet. So nothing for me, thanks.

Diet, Governor, Perfect, Report, Stories, Thanks
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