Politics need to stop treating women as a special-interest group.
So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are. '
This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, "I want you to trace someone for me. "
So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?' I said 'We'll start with one. ' He said 'Knickerbocker glory?' I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes. '
I saw this train driver and said, 'I wanna go to Paris. ' He said, 'Eurostar?' I said, 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin. ' Mind you, at least the Eurostar's comfy. It's murder on the Orient Express isn't it?
Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out.
So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions".
That's insightful, but equally insightful is what they say afterwards. The other thing that I always point out is it's one thing to talk to the candidate. It's quite another to talk to the staff, and that's when you find out what's really going on.
Keep in mind that your individual vote doesn't mean anything.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
A political party cannot be all things to all people. It must represent certain fundamental beliefs which must not be compromised to political expediency, or simply to swell its numbers.