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I had spent the whole of my savings. . . on a suit for the wedding - a remarkable piece of apparel with lapels that had been modelled on the tail fins of a 1957 Coupe de Ville and trousers so copiously flared that when I walked you didn't see my legs move.

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Robert Benchley

I once heard a woman laugh at that most tragic moment in all drama, the off-stage shot in "The Wild Duck," and I afterward had her killed, so there will be no more of that out of her.

Drama, Ducks, Heard, Laughing, Moment, Woman
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The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

Men, Paid, Piece, Pieces, Writer, Writing

This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as "regulations" but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.

Modern Life, Night, Office, Regulations, Series, Table

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

Amount, Funny, Moment, Procrastination, Provided, Work

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Airplane, America, Children, Classes, Travel

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Analyzing, Defining, Humor, People, Work
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