The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in … - Dave Barry

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It’s just me against the world.

Dave Barry

The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse.

Funny, Humorous, Ocean, Sailors, Violent

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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

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Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth grade where you put a nail into a glass of Coke and after a couple of days the nail dissolves and the teacher says: Imagine what it does to your TEETH! So Coca-Cola was solidly entrenched in the market, and the management saw no need to improve.

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Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is a cow dropped out of a helicopter.

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A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

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Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

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