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Students think they must write down the idea immediately, but I tell them if it's a good idea it'll be in your head in five minutes' time.

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Woody Allen

The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.

Congressman, Funny, Humor, Men, Needs, Under
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Inspirational, Inspiring, Percent, Positive, Showing, Success

Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.

Action, Class, File, God, Jobs, Terrible

Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.

Afternoon, Kissed, Never Been Kissed, Parisian, Rainy

Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips. I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one.

Beautiful, Funny, Like, Love, Reincarnation

Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

Continue, Errors, Funny, Keyboard, Life, Press
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