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I do acrylic paint, oil paint, and caustic. Caustic is melted wax. It really depends on the painting, what vibe I'm looking for. That's really what matters.

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Jimmy Carr

My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty. "

Alright, Funny, Girlfriend, Humor, Tease
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I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"

Birthday, Fairly, Funny, Humor, Men, Mum

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

Dad, Dying, Family, Funny, Humor, Wish

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol

Funny, Hear, Humor, Rohypnol, Speak, Speak No Evil

The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.

Funny, Humor, Impotent, Men, Use, Viagra

Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!

Disaster, Eighteen, Superhero, Superheroes, Years
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