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I learned to love myself, because I sleep with myself every night and I wake up with myself every morning, and if I don't like myself, there's no reason to even live the life.

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Jeph Jacques

'Light fuse and get away' may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned.

Candle, Light, Love, Roman, Scorned, Wrath
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You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.

Happiness, Happy, Health, Ignore, Life, Standards

That's what college is for - getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you're forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of 'em on the wall in my room.

College, Possible, Real, Wall

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through. . . There needs to be a monster truck option.

Funny, Inspirational, Monster, Needs, Pass, Two

If only corporal punishment cured low self-esteem.

Corporal, Cured, Lows, Punishment, Self Esteem

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

Degrees, Education, Ems, Laminated, Pretty
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