When you are an outcast, even a tossed stone can be cherished.
The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up.
Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
Never tell. Not if you love your wife. . . In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die. ' " I didn't know what I was goin' to do.
What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
I like the normal things of life: I like the Mets, and the Celtics, and the N. Y. Rangers. I like to watch C-Span; I love Costco.
Don't overdo it, don't underdo it. Do it just on the line.
Being a parent has become incredibly important to me. I never knew how much I would be altered by my children. I would like to be remembered by them in much the way I remember my mom: as loving and kind.
May I forget what ought to be forgotten; and recall, unfailing, all that ought to be recalled, each kindly thing, forgetting what might sting.