I'm most comfortable in T-shirts, but they have to have some style to them.
I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
In towns it is impossible to prevent men from assembling, getting excited together and forming sudden passionate resolves. Towns are like great meeting houses with all the inhabitants as members. In them the people wield immense influence over their magistrates and often carry their desires into execution without intermediaries.
As I have said a thousand times, no manipulation can put stocks down and keep them down.
If we don’t risk being hurt, we cannot give unconditional love. Unconditional love gives others the right to hurt us.
The excuses we make to ourselves when we want to do something are excellent material for soliloquies, for they are rarely made except when we are alone, and are very often made aloud.