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The humor is the sort born of ironic necessity; they use it to salve the wounds in insensitity.

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Jim Bouton

How come nobody wants to argue with me? Is it because I'm always so right?

Come, Competition, Fighting, Nobody, Right, Want
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You spend a good deal of your life gripping a baseball, and it turns out it was the other way around all the time.

Baseball, Deal, Good, Gripping, Sports, Success

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?

Baseball, Field, Men, Penalized, Sports, Teamwork

It never hurts to apologize, especially if you don't mean it.

Apologize, Apologizing, Hurt, Hurts, Mean

Jim Pagliaroni joined the club tonight and is going to be a welcome addition. He was describing a girl that one of the ballplayers had been out with and said, “It's hard to say exactly what she looked like. She was kind of Joe Torre with tits. ” This joke can only be explained with a picture of Joe Torre. But I'm not sure any exist. He dissolves camera lenses.

Cameras, Describing, Girl, Hard, Joe, Lenses

For a hundred years, the owners screwed the players. For 25 years, the players have screwed the owners-they've got 75 years to go.

Hundred, Player, Players, Screwed, Years
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