[Children are] like talking animals. Their consciousness is so different from ours that they constitute a different species. … - Fran Lebowitz

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If you were starving and had all the time in the world, would you stop eating the greatest slice of cake on earth halfway through? Then why would you quit on your dreams?

Fran Lebowitz

[Children are] like talking animals. Their consciousness is so different from ours that they constitute a different species. They don't have to be particularly interesting children; just the fact that they are children is sufficient. They don't know what anything is, so they have to make it up. No matter how dull they are, they still have to figure things out for themselves.

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Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

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People (a group that in my opinion has always attracted an undue amount of attention) have often been likened to snowflakes. This analogy is meant to suggest that each is unique - no two alike. This is quite patently not the case. People, even at the current rate of inflation - in fact, people especially at the current rate of inflation - are quite simply a dime a dozen. And, I hasten to add, their only similarity to snowflakes resides in their invariably and lamentable tendency to turn, after a few warm days, to slush.

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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

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