I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's … - Jack Benny - Quotesmemo.com

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I have a fear of nuclear annihilation. I'm a child of the cold war: I didn't live more than 10 miles from a major WarPac nuclear target until the Berlin Wall came down and the CW ended. Knowing you can die horribly at any moment because of decisions made by alien intelligences thousands of miles away who don't even know you exist - there's something Lovecraftian about that, isn't there?

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Jack Benny

I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago. Today I must maneuver it so that somehow I get the waiter to give me a nickel tip.

Funny, Giving, Leave, Order, Waiter, Years

Same Author Quotes

Everything good that happened to me happened by accident.

Accident, Accidents, Everything, Good, Happened

I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs.

Car, Deliver, Girl, Long, Packard

Modesty is my best quality.

Modesty, Quality

Try saving when your salary is low. So after making more money, you will not be able to do this anywhere

Anywhere, Making, Money, Salary, Saving, Trying

I'm an old newspaper-man myself, but I quit because I found there was no money in old newspapers.

Funny, Men, Newspapers, Old, Quit, Quitting

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John F. Carlson

Too much reality in a picture is always a disappointment to the imaginative soul. We love suggestion and not hard facts.

Disappointment, Facts, Hard, Love, Reality, Soul

Charles Stross

Charles Stross

I have a fear of nuclear annihilation. I'm a child of the cold war: I didn't live more than 10 miles from a major WarPac nuclear target until the Berlin Wall came down and the CW ended. Knowing you can die horribly at any moment because of decisions made by alien intelligences thousands of miles away who don't even know you exist - there's something Lovecraftian about that, isn't there?

Children, Down, Exist, Wall, War, Warpac

Russell Kirk

Russell Kirk

Prejudice is not bigotry or superstition, although prejudice sometimes may degenerate into these. Prejudice is pre-judgment, the answer with which intuition and ancestral consensus of opinion supply a man when he lacks either time or knowledge to arrive at a decision predicated upon pure reason.

Ancestral, Arrive, Decision, Intuition, Men, Pure

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Messi does not need his right foot, though. He only uses the left and he's still the best in the world! Imagine if he also used his right foot. . . Then we would have serious problems!

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Subcomandante Marcos

Subcomandante Marcos

The photographer discovers himself
herself being photographed and we can guess he is uncomfortable. Unsuccessfully he
she tries to recompose his posture and to look like a photographer taking photos. But no, he is and continues to be a spectator. The momentous fact of being photographed leads him to becoming an actor. And, as always, actors must assume a role, which is only an elegant way of avoiding to say they must choose sides, choose a faction, take an option.

Leads, Look, Looks, Roles, Spectator, Trying