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A man, in his books, may be said to walk the earth a long time after he is gone.

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Milton Jones

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!

Dog, Fire, Funny, Humor, Tunnel
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You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? The Hepatitis Bee.

Animal, Bee, Funny, Humor, Kills, World

As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight. Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.

Child, Children, Funny, Humor, Mary, Times

Sometimes I wonder what my grandfather would think of what I do, he spent his whole life in the kebab business, was buried with all his equipment, probably turning in his grave.

Funny, Humor, Kebab, Probably, Thinking, Wonder

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices to pay for my education. . . because they were both druids.

Education, Funny, Humor, Parents, Sacrifice, Said

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.

Book, Come, Funny, Humor, Paper, Penguins
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