Charles Darwin got totally hammered, woke up next to a monkey and decided he had to come up … - Stephen Colbert - Quotesmemo.com

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Academies that are founded at public expense are instituted not so much to cultivate men's natural abilities as to restrain them.

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Stephen Colbert

Charles Darwin got totally hammered, woke up next to a monkey and decided he had to come up with a theory to make it all okay.

Come Up, Darwin, Make, Monkeys, Next, Woke

Same Author Quotes

Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.

Drinking, Gay, Way, Yes

If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.

Continue, Corporations, Exist, Government, Guarantees, People

You have a firm grasp of the obvious.

Firm, Grasp, Obvious

I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.

Believe, Guy, Magical, Possible, Saws, Soleil

Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.

Blow, Give, Man, Men, Suicide, Teach

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Summer Sanders

Summer Sanders

Thinking about your training should put a smile on your face. As cliche as it sounds, you are worth all the time and energy you've put in. Unleash your emotions with a cheer, or even a signature roar, after a tough workout.

Cheer, Energy, Roar, Thinking About You, Workout, Worth

Robert Charles Wilson

Robert Charles Wilson

To fire a bullet into the heart or brains of one's fellow man even a fellow man striving to do the same to you creates what might be called an unassimilable memory: a memory that floats on daily life the way an oil stain floats on rainwater. Stir the rain barrel, scatter the oil into countless drops, disperse it all you like, but it will not mix; and eventually the slick comes back, as loathsomely intact as it ever was.

Bullet, Heart, Life, Memories, Rain, Scatter

Baruch Spinoza

Baruch Spinoza

Academies that are founded at public expense are instituted not so much to cultivate men's natural abilities as to restrain them.

Abilities, Historical, Men, Natural, Public, School

Itzhak Perlman

Itzhak Perlman

A Century of Wisdom is universal and will enrich readers for generations to come.

Generations, Century, Reader, Wisdom, Universal

Andy Rooney

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People like to say, "You're only as old as you feel," but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.

Age, Feel Good, Like, Old, People