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Quote of the day

The day will come when you will review your life and be thankful for every minute of it. Every hurt, every sorrow, every joy, every celebration, every moment of your life will be a treasure to you, for you will see the utter perfection of the design. You will stand back from the weaving and see the tapestry, and you will weep at the beauty of it.

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Larry the Cable Guy

I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!

Cousin, Men, Quit, Upset, Upsets
Same Author Quotes

We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular. ' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas. ' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau. ' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special.

Cable, Guy, Make, Names, Year, Years

People always ask my mom what I did as a kid. My mom says, "He wasn't a bad kid. He was never an unruly kid, always listened and obeyed. "

Ask, Kids, Mom, Obeyed, People

I was born and raised in Pawnee City, Nebraska. I lived right next to the sale barn and I raised pigs. My dad was a guidance counselor at Wymore High School. He was also a preacher and did farming as well. We leased out our crop land but had cattle and horses.

Dad, Horse, Land, Lived, Right, School

There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars. "

Country, Differences, Old, Redneck, Three

I'm always wearing a Nebraska hat. Most of the time I'm wearing something that's got a Husker something on it. I make sure I have it on TV but I have it regularly.

Hats, Make, Nebraska, Time, Tvs, Wearing
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