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So this Zealot comes to my door, all glazed eyes and clean reproductive organs, asking me if I ever think about God. So I tell him I killed God. I tracked God down like a rabid dog, hacked off his legs with a hedge trimmer, raped him with a corncob, and boiled off his corpse in an acid bath. So he pulls an alternating-current taser on me and tells me that only the Official Serbian Church of Tesla can save my polyphase intrinsic electric field, known to non-engineers as "the soul. " So I hit him. What would you do?

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Clive James

I was a big pothead for a short period. That was what ticked me off that I shouldn't go near hard drugs, actually, because I would consume the stuff as if it was going out of style and it rapidly occurred to me that if I ever tried a hard drug, the same thing would happen, so I never did.

Drug, Going Out, Happen, Style, Ticked, Tried
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I actually didn't like that feeling of being out of touch because what I do depends on being in touch. But it's fun to talk about. That's one of the real dangers of drugs: they're too much fun to talk about.

Actually, Dangers, Drug, Fun, Real, Touch

The inevitable effect of a biographer's hindsight is to belittle the subject's foresight.

Belittle, Effect, Foresight, Hindsight, Inevitable

In Italy, for the same price as a typical British hamburger meal including sweet, a builder's labourer could eat like a king - rather better in fact, because pasta dishes gain from being kept simple.

Eat, Funny, Gain, Kings, Simple, Sweet

They had a. . . dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.

Available, Dog, Funny, Nothing, Psychopath

In the Bob Hope Golf Classic, the participation of President Gerald Ford was more than enough to remind you that the nuclear button was at one stage at the disposal of a man who might have either pressed it by mistake or else pressed it deliberately in order to obtain room service.

Deliberately, Golf, Men, Mistake, Order, Pressed
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