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I can be on guard against my enemies, but God deliver me from my friends!

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Jean Kerr

I once truly believed that if I had to stand in line for twenty minutes to have a package gift-wrapped it actually gave the recipient more pleasure.

Lines, Package, Pleasure, Twenties, Twenty
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The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

Children, Humorous, Like, Menace, Real, Sound

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

Grasped, Keep, Losing, Possible, Success, Understanding

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

Inspirational, Life, Like, Live, Mack, Marriage

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Beautiful, Beauty, Deep, Pancreas, Tired

I know all about improvisation and the free-form that mirrors the chaos of our time, but I do like to feel that the playwright has done some work before I got there.

Chaos, Done, Know, Mirrors, Playwright
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