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My dear girl, there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That's just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs!

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Rob Corddry

I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid.

Actually, Comedy, Quitting, Stupid, Thought
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If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

Closer, Funny, Humorous, Secret, Sit, Witty

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

Actors, Broadway, Day, Found, Next Day, Whoring

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

2000, Comedy, Night, Schooling, Years

I've been an Apple guy since the mid 80's and that's when I was like, "Boy, you guys really got me here. I know exactly what you're doing, right down to your price points. "

Apple, Apples, Boy, Boys, Exactly, Guy

I have a wife and two daughters; people who depend on me. Everything is more important than it was when I was 20. But now I'm like, "Eh, I made it this far. "

Daughter, Everything, Like, People, Two
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