I thought, well, why am I giving up on my primary dream to work doubly hard, to do something as an alternative to what it really still want to?
If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.