Beauty, wit, High birth, vigour of bone, desert in service, Love, friendship, charity, are subjects all To envious and calumniating time.
A man is more than his failings.
Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.
Im afraid Wisconsin is you, Nebraska, only with much better parties and more wins.
Maybe I'm just getting old, but I remember when your average NFL player would come to the sideline, spit out three bicuspids, Scotch-tape his humerus together and get back out there.
It's people stories that make good reading. I don't feel like I'm a sportswriter. I feel like I'm a guy who writes about people who happen to do sports. The best columns are the ones where you tie it somehow into the fabric of the country.
Exactly how intricate a sport is jogging? You were two years old. You ran after the cat. You pretty much had it mastered
These days, unplugged places are getting hard to find.
Without stepping out the door, you can know the world.
I had written a lot about my dog dying before. I wrote a newspaper column about it and it turned out to be the most popular column I'd ever written. That and the lame Joni Mitchell column I did. But the dog column, my god! People love dogs. Anybody who writes regularly should know, when in doubt: dogs! If you're a columnist, when in doubt, write a column about the culture of narcissism - like a scolding column about the culture of narcissism - or write something about dogs. That's the homerun in my take.
Whole phases of comedy have become empty; the comic rejoinder has become every man's tool.